My 2010

Every blogger has been getting in on this and seeing as I've jumped on every bandwagon since the Cabbage Patch Kid craze, I had to join in, so here is my 2010 review.

1.What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Started watching Katie Price’s reality show. It was oddly addictive. I knew I had watched too much when I caught a glimpse of myself wearing bright pink lip gloss usually reserved for hookers in North Korea with a matching bright pink top and pastel sweatpants.

2.Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My resolution was, “don’t die,” and that was accomplished. Fingers crossed for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several friends. Mostly baby boys. And I now have an imaginary adopted baby named Charlemagne that I was going to talk to in public to see if that’d get me off the island earlier. No baby news here. I have no biological clock and my husband doesn’t care for children at all.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Other than many of my hopes and dreams?

5. What countries did you visit?

While living in Portugal, I had several dreams where the island drifted and I was in Antarctica and South Africa. I believe dream visits count, so I spent a considerable amount of time with penguins.

I6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Patience, sanity, a DVD set of “Home Movies.” The usual.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Winning the gold in figure skating in the Olympics. I was fabulous and my costume was so adorable.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Other than the gold medal? Um, not flying to England to stand outside of the prison George Michael crying holding a sign saying, “Marry me, George.” Even I was surprised I kept my dignity on that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I had a whole speech planned to tell someone off, but when I had to meet with them, I was in a position where I needed them, so I had to keep my little mouth shut. My dad always says never burn your bridges, but I enjoy pouring gasoline on them and lighting them ablaze.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No comment

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A Faberge egg with the New Kids on the Block riding merry-go-round horses when you open it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone who sent me a care package that kept me alive on the island. Except for the person who sent me something that spoiled and almost made Mr. H vomit when he opened it. What the hell were they thinking sending something that spoils in the mail?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I get enraged more than depressed. I’ll keep the personal one to myself, but George Michael kissing that male escort in Australia didn’t do my blood pressure any favors.

14. Where did most of your money go?

I just moved from one country and all my stuff is still stuck there at the port, so where didn’t my money go would be the better question.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Coming back to the U.S., I got excited about going to Kmart and the fact it was open 7 days a week and past 7 p.m.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

“Cry Me Out” and “Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” Oh Pixie Lott, you got me through some nights. And when that Michael Buble song comes on when I’m in a grocery store, it makes me want to dance like they did in the music video. I always wonder if anyone else feels that way when they hear it, too.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

(a) happier or sadder?
(b) thinner or fatter?
(c) richer or poorer?

(a) Happier. I’m in the land of 24 hour grocery stores.

(b) Probably bigger seeing as there’s food in this country
(c) Poorer seeing as we’ve had to start over from scratch. I can’t wait to get to the point where I can blow my money on stupid frivolous crap. Like more North Korean bright pink lip gloss, but this time with shimmer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had bedazzled more of my clothes and bought more European tabloids with celebrities no one in the U.S. has ever heard of, but who are awesomely Euro trashy.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Watching “Jerseylicious.”

20. How did you spend Christmas?

2009 brought flooding to the island and no mail or food plane, so really being dry and fed was a huge step up.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Yes, with Applegate Farm’s gluten-free chicken nuggets and Organicville’s Ranch dressing. I may divorce my husband so Ranchie and I can run off together.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

“Being Erica” and I used to watch some European decorating shows and house hunting shows and scream at the TV, “You’ll fall through the floor! Nothing’s been updated in 100 years! That’s not quaint, that’s Legionnaire’s waiting to happen, you dmbass!” And wondering why they’d buy a home in a country they’d most likely get shot in and/or decapitated.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes, I do. I got over my hatred of 2 other people and it’s been replaced when someone else.

24. What was the best book you read?

I was doing book reviews last year and there were some doozies, but Pop on Top is a go-to classic. That and Boy George’s “Take it Like a Man.”

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Pixie Lott. Although I think that was 2009. And that weird little French guy who was like an emaciated Moby who sat barefoot while naked chicks sat around him and he sang and looked depressed. I would have liked to have been in the meeting when they decided to sign him.

26. What did you want and get?

A proposal from Bret Michaels. Bastard won’t make an honest woman of me.

27. What did you want and not get?

I only got one gift card & I love those. Oh and George to dump a certain Texan boy toy.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Sex and the City 2. I watched “Not without My Daughter” for the 1st time and got some neato ideas if I should ever become the leader of a country. I could put my picture on anything and everything.

29. What did you do on your birthday?

I don’t recall what I did. I remember the presents the most. The presents were most awesome this year.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I hadn’t seen George Michael in a bathing suit and Crocs while rubbing suntan oil on a male escort. I could have done without that.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Getting mistaken for a local and/or European told me I was on the right path with my clothes. Looking back, I guess I was channeling Katie Price on her off-days, not on her showing off her man-made gifts.

32. What kept you sane?

Good mail days and new magazine day. And that is the honest truth.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Do you need to even ask? Since age 10, George Michael. I also developed a slight crush on Bryan Greenberg, but only when his hair looks good.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I got enraged over something a European leader did, but he’ll shoot you as to look at you, so I won’t mention his name. Crap, I’ve said to much. He’ll probably put mercury in my Coke.

35. Who did you miss?

My imaginary friend couldn’t take island life and dumped me.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I met some great new people in Ohio and made some friends in Portugal. And in my mind Kai on “Being Erica” is my pal.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Do not assume a red top you have washed a million times is not going to turn your only white bra pink. Oh and stay off the internet the day George Michael is photographed kissing a male escort while wearing Crocs.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Karma Chameleon


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