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Monday, November 17, 2008

Friendship

I have to admit I wasn’t prepared for life here. The two people who gave me the best insight about military life were my friend, Jen B, and my cousin, Bill. Bill told me just when you get settled and make friends, either they’ll leave, or you will and that’s becoming the trend. In the last place I lived, I went to more farewell parties in less than a year and a half than I had in my whole life. But here it’s a whole different story. Most people are here for only two years, unless they’re single or unaccompanied, then it’s 18 months. So by the time you arrive, a lot of people you meet are on their way out. I have already said good-bye to the people I was closest to when I first arrived. I didn’t expect to make close friends in such a short period of time and then I did and, poof! Now they’re gone, too. It almost makes me wonder if I would have been better off not getting as close so it wouldn’t be so depressing when they all left. However, then I wouldn’t have made the good friends that I did.

It kind of reminds me of a semester in college. You get to know people really well, see them day in and day out, and you’re having lunch together every week day, and getting together on weekends. Then the semester ends and you hardly see each other anymore. You keep in touch, but your schedules are now so different (or they’ve moved an ocean away), so you’re not each other’s priority anymore. But they say everything has a season, and I think there are people who come into all our lives’ for only a season. Maybe so we can both learn something from each other or they need someone like you or me in their lives at that time. Then there are the “keepers,” the people you’ll stay in touch with even if they move to Mars.

Now as I write out my Christmas card list, I’m seeing more and more addresses have changed from last year, but the most important thing is that the friendships stay the same.

7 comments:

Julie said...

awww That was nice. I don't know what I'd do without certain friends...

Krysten said...

And I totally forgot to mention imaginary friends--they're the best!!

laurasalas said...

Love this post, Krysten. I know the goodbye-ing must be hard. But I wonder if that knowledge that everybody's "on rotation" makes it almost easier to reach out and connect? Knowing you don't have 10 years to meet your neighbors (which is my usual approach, being slow to make friends). Good for you for opening your heart and making unexpected close friends, even if they are only part of your daily life for a short time.

Joanne said...

I like your insight that there are people who only come into our lives for a season. It's a little poignant, knowing sometimes we're just passing each other by, but on some level, there's a reason.

irishoma said...

Hi Krysten.
Great post. It brought back memories of moving around the country and overseas with my husband and our children while he worked for the Army. After bouts of homesickness and loneliness, I finally learned to enjoy the moment and cherish the friendships I made along the journey.
Donna V.

Krysten said...

Yeah, the homesickness is hard especially lately with all the talk about the big 3 and the bail out. It makes me very emotional watching and hearing all this and the impact it's having on people there.

Shana said...

Hi, Krysten - I feel for ya. It's hard to make friends when you know they'll be moving away in a year or so (or, as has been my case due to my husband's job - I will be moving.)

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