Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Gotta Have Faith--and Now I Finally Do!

I went back in time today. No, not some “Being Erica,” time traveling therapy session. Today I got the George Michael Faith box set my husband ordered for me for Valentine’s Day. I opened the heavy box (to me it was heavy, probably not to normal people) and instantly went back in time to that kid who used to sit in front of the TV hoping and praying MTV would play “Father Figure” just one more time. As I opened the box, I found the photos (all hot, like Hottie McHot-hot kind of hot), a concert poster, CDs, and a record. I never had a George Michael record, but the second I took it out of the sleeve, I remembered my mom pulling out her old records to play for me while she’d do my hair. I don’t even know the last time I saw a record—maybe at a club years ago? But there it was, the album I never got as a kid because it was banned by some city or country or dictator as well as my mother.

Even though I wasn’t allowed to buy the album, I found ways around that. I taped songs off the radio, but then I got my opportunity. I had to make a commercial for a modeling thing to show how I’d handle myself on camera. They said I could write my own script and choose what product I wanted to pretend to promote. I decided to use the album, borrowed my friend Wendy’s tape as my prop, and wore the George Michael sweatshirt my mom bought me for Christmas. The commercial went well (the woman running the camera was a huge George fan, so there were many close-ups of the cover), and it gave me the opportunity to listen to the whole album until I gave it back to Wendy. It was amazing.

Oddly, my mom allowed me to buy the videos, but not the CD, so I had some George stuff, but it was a while before I owned the album. My mom always thought my crush on George was due to the fact she tried to ban him from the house (although she also bought me most of the singles, maybe because they were radio approved?) But as I was looking through the booklet that came in the set today, it reminded me of why I started liking him. Even though I liked the songs, and thought he was cute, I think my big attraction was the fact he talked about the process that went into making the album. That would appeal to a kid whose teachers were already steering her into going into writing. I recall all those interviews and MTV pieces on him that I watched transfixed and about passed out when I realized one of them is included on the DVD.

It’s amazing how just a few pictures, songs, an interview, and a record could completely take me back in time. Now excuse me, I have to go be a kid again.

Sunday, January 23, 2011


Check out my friend Rachel's blog, "Come What May," and her new kitchen utensil giveaway!

Friday, January 21, 2011

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Valentine's Day

My Christmas decorations didn't show up in time for me to decorate the new house for Christmas, so I only had a couple of things up that were sent to me as housewarming gifts. However, Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday so I had to decorate for it. I had brought a bunch of Valentine decorations to Portugal, but when I moved from one place to another there, well they were victims of the great sewer backup. Rest in peace little decorations.

I must say this year it wasn't easy finding decorations. Some of the stores had stuff that was too high priced ($50 for small heart bookends?) or they had more stuff for parties or gifts. But I kept looking and found a few things. I saw some ornaments and thought how cool would it be to have a Valentine tree? I only bought two at first because I wasn't sure I'd find a tree. Then I hit another store and there it was: a six foot pink tree. It was a pre-lit Christmas tree, so it was 75% off. It was perfect. It was the right shade of pink--that Barbie/Katie Price shade and they had ornaments and wire garlands. So I spent my Thursday night decorating it.

Now do I decorate for St. Patrick's Day next or head right into Easter?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

My 2010

Every blogger has been getting in on this and seeing as I've jumped on every bandwagon since the Cabbage Patch Kid craze, I had to join in, so here is my 2010 review.

1.What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Started watching Katie Price’s reality show. It was oddly addictive. I knew I had watched too much when I caught a glimpse of myself wearing bright pink lip gloss usually reserved for hookers in North Korea with a matching bright pink top and pastel sweatpants.

2.Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My resolution was, “don’t die,” and that was accomplished. Fingers crossed for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several friends. Mostly baby boys. And I now have an imaginary adopted baby named Charlemagne that I was going to talk to in public to see if that’d get me off the island earlier. No baby news here. I have no biological clock and my husband doesn’t care for children at all.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Other than many of my hopes and dreams?

5. What countries did you visit?

While living in Portugal, I had several dreams where the island drifted and I was in Antarctica and South Africa. I believe dream visits count, so I spent a considerable amount of time with penguins.

I6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Patience, sanity, a DVD set of “Home Movies.” The usual.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Winning the gold in figure skating in the Olympics. I was fabulous and my costume was so adorable.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Other than the gold medal? Um, not flying to England to stand outside of the prison George Michael crying holding a sign saying, “Marry me, George.” Even I was surprised I kept my dignity on that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I had a whole speech planned to tell someone off, but when I had to meet with them, I was in a position where I needed them, so I had to keep my little mouth shut. My dad always says never burn your bridges, but I enjoy pouring gasoline on them and lighting them ablaze.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No comment

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A Faberge egg with the New Kids on the Block riding merry-go-round horses when you open it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone who sent me a care package that kept me alive on the island. Except for the person who sent me something that spoiled and almost made Mr. H vomit when he opened it. What the hell were they thinking sending something that spoils in the mail?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I get enraged more than depressed. I’ll keep the personal one to myself, but George Michael kissing that male escort in Australia didn’t do my blood pressure any favors.

14. Where did most of your money go?

I just moved from one country and all my stuff is still stuck there at the port, so where didn’t my money go would be the better question.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Coming back to the U.S., I got excited about going to Kmart and the fact it was open 7 days a week and past 7 p.m.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

“Cry Me Out” and “Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” Oh Pixie Lott, you got me through some nights. And when that Michael Buble song comes on when I’m in a grocery store, it makes me want to dance like they did in the music video. I always wonder if anyone else feels that way when they hear it, too.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

(a) happier or sadder?
(b) thinner or fatter?
(c) richer or poorer?

(a) Happier. I’m in the land of 24 hour grocery stores.

(b) Probably bigger seeing as there’s food in this country
(c) Poorer seeing as we’ve had to start over from scratch. I can’t wait to get to the point where I can blow my money on stupid frivolous crap. Like more North Korean bright pink lip gloss, but this time with shimmer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had bedazzled more of my clothes and bought more European tabloids with celebrities no one in the U.S. has ever heard of, but who are awesomely Euro trashy.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Watching “Jerseylicious.”

20. How did you spend Christmas?

2009 brought flooding to the island and no mail or food plane, so really being dry and fed was a huge step up.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Yes, with Applegate Farm’s gluten-free chicken nuggets and Organicville’s Ranch dressing. I may divorce my husband so Ranchie and I can run off together.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

“Being Erica” and I used to watch some European decorating shows and house hunting shows and scream at the TV, “You’ll fall through the floor! Nothing’s been updated in 100 years! That’s not quaint, that’s Legionnaire’s waiting to happen, you dmbass!” And wondering why they’d buy a home in a country they’d most likely get shot in and/or decapitated.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes, I do. I got over my hatred of 2 other people and it’s been replaced when someone else.

24. What was the best book you read?

I was doing book reviews last year and there were some doozies, but Pop on Top is a go-to classic. That and Boy George’s “Take it Like a Man.”

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Pixie Lott. Although I think that was 2009. And that weird little French guy who was like an emaciated Moby who sat barefoot while naked chicks sat around him and he sang and looked depressed. I would have liked to have been in the meeting when they decided to sign him.

26. What did you want and get?

A proposal from Bret Michaels. Bastard won’t make an honest woman of me.

27. What did you want and not get?

I only got one gift card & I love those. Oh and George to dump a certain Texan boy toy.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Sex and the City 2. I watched “Not without My Daughter” for the 1st time and got some neato ideas if I should ever become the leader of a country. I could put my picture on anything and everything.

29. What did you do on your birthday?

I don’t recall what I did. I remember the presents the most. The presents were most awesome this year.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I hadn’t seen George Michael in a bathing suit and Crocs while rubbing suntan oil on a male escort. I could have done without that.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Getting mistaken for a local and/or European told me I was on the right path with my clothes. Looking back, I guess I was channeling Katie Price on her off-days, not on her showing off her man-made gifts.

32. What kept you sane?

Good mail days and new magazine day. And that is the honest truth.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Do you need to even ask? Since age 10, George Michael. I also developed a slight crush on Bryan Greenberg, but only when his hair looks good.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I got enraged over something a European leader did, but he’ll shoot you as to look at you, so I won’t mention his name. Crap, I’ve said to much. He’ll probably put mercury in my Coke.

35. Who did you miss?

My imaginary friend couldn’t take island life and dumped me.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I met some great new people in Ohio and made some friends in Portugal. And in my mind Kai on “Being Erica” is my pal.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Do not assume a red top you have washed a million times is not going to turn your only white bra pink. Oh and stay off the internet the day George Michael is photographed kissing a male escort while wearing Crocs.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Karma Chameleon