April's Fool

April Fools' Day has never been one of my favorites. Maybe it's because I don't enjoy pranks or perhaps it's deeper than that. I have a feeling my mom might have a little something to do with my fear of this day. It started when I was a little girl and my mom was pregnant. She called me into the living room and told me we should play an April Fools' Day joke on my dad. Her joke? She told me pregnant women faint a lot and it's no big deal, so run outside and tell dad that she passed out and she'll lie on the floor when he comes in. So like an obedient little idiot, I ran outside and told my father, who was innocently cutting the grass, that my mom was now sprawled out on the floor. He ran in (who knew my dad could sprint like that?) to find her on the floor. As he panicked, she began laughing. To his credit, he laughed it off, but looking back on it....yeah, not so funny.

Then there was the time when I was in fifth grade. My mother came into my room and told me she just heard my crush, George Michael got married and did I know who Karyn White was? That was his new bride. I recall sitting straight up in bed about to cry. Then she said, “April Fools!” and preceded to tell my that when I was at school, shen went through all my music to find a female singer that was the right age and who I would of course know about, but someone not so hugely popular that I would think that my mom would be aware of to really seal the deal. “I knew if I picked someone too popular you might think I was making it up, but Karyn was perfect!” Looking back on it, maybe she should have gone with her plan B, which was to tell me George had come out in a TV interview, since back then, his sexuality was more of a question mark. Had she gone that route, she might have saved me from tears and therapy years later.

So this year, I plan not to deceive nor be deceived. So if you have a great idea for a prank, leave me out of it. And I have Caller ID, so if my mom calls, I may or may not be picking up until it is safely April 2nd. I will not be April's fool again.


Wow, your mom took no prisoners when it came to pranks! I could use a woman like her if I'm ever on a quest for revenge.
Ha ha! It's a mystery why my sister and I jump at the sight of our own shadows...hmmmm....

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