Krysten Lindsay Hager - Brunch at Tiffany's

There are so many reasons to hate moving. The worst part? Having your nice clean, once sanitary things placed in a box where they are touching stuff that you really thought you threw out. Like when my beautiful throw pillows that can’t be disinfected are placed on the same shoe racks that once held shoes. And not just any shoes. Shoes that walked on ancient European streets that were riddled with stray dog excrement and a trillion years of disease. Remember there were plagues in Europe and your history books had illustrations of carts holding bloated corpses they took off the streets due to said plagues. Hence why my shoe dirt is not ordinary shoe dirt. Plus the road across the street from where I lived had animals on it daily when the farmers walked their cows down it. Why? I still have no clue. Maybe cows need exercise? But it is interesting to note that European farmers dress a lot better than American ones. They would spit on a John Deere hat. But nonetheless, the dirt on my shoes ...

I am not prepared for this weather. I just came from a place where it got not colder than the 60’s and now I have to put on gloves and a coat everywhere I go. A coat? Seriously? Everyday? And I actually wear sweaters now. I forgot how much I hate wearing a coat inside stores and nothing’s worse than a hot heavy sweater under a coat when you come in from the cold and go into a chop that’s toasty and you begin to bake. I was putting up with this cold, but then winter decided to push me and add freezing rain to the mix. I dealt with the snow, but the ice thing is a whole other thing. It makes everything dangerous and it knocked off my freakin’ power for like, six hours. And everyone knows you can only keep the food in your fridge safe for four hours. Maybe I’d be less bitter if the boots I needed hadn’t sold out. Or if the power hadn’t gone out during Brooke and Julian’s wedding on “One Tree Hill.” By the way, didn’t you expect her dress to be cuter considering she’s a designer? And wha...