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Monday, February 14, 2011

Boxes Everywhere

There are so many reasons to hate moving. The worst part? Having your nice clean, once sanitary things placed in a box where they are touching stuff that you really thought you threw out. Like when my beautiful throw pillows that can’t be disinfected are placed on the same shoe racks that once held shoes. And not just any shoes. Shoes that walked on ancient European streets that were riddled with stray dog excrement and a trillion years of disease. Remember there were plagues in Europe and your history books had illustrations of carts holding bloated corpses they took off the streets due to said plagues. Hence why my shoe dirt is not ordinary shoe dirt. Plus the road across the street from where I lived had animals on it daily when the farmers walked their cows down it. Why? I still have no clue. Maybe cows need exercise? But it is interesting to note that European farmers dress a lot better than American ones. They would spit on a John Deere hat. But nonetheless, the dirt on my shoes is nothing you’d want on your throw pillows.

Since my stuff was coming over from Europe on a boat, and we informed it would sit at the port for a good three months, I decided to put my books and papers and past work in plastic storage bins. I figured it would keep everything clean, dry, and safe. Well, safe-ish. Then, yesterday, I found 2 of the plastic lids with a mystery crud on them. Was it rat poop? Innocent dirt? Nasty, slutty dirt? Or Indiscriminate unrecognizable sludge? No clue. My worst fears tell me it’s rat poop. Or mice poop. Rat poop sounds grosser, but really, is mice poop any better? No. And of course one of the nasty bins somehow had the top pop off and the tape that was holding it on as a secondary security system also came off. So did anything get inside? No way to tell. Things like that make me wish I had just set the books in that box on fire. It’d be less painful than letting them get defiled by whatever that evil is on the lid. And even if I do convince myself it’s just some odd shaped dirt, I know myself well enough to know I’ll never be comfortable putting those books on my nice bookcase.

I haven’t even opened that many boxes and so far I’ve found wrinkled scrapbook stuff, boots with mildew, and a purse that looks like an elephant sat on it. I haven’t opened any of the boxes with breakables in it yet, but I admit, that’s partly because I’m scared. Oh well, here’s hoping the rest of the boxes are poop-free. And pray that no bats fly out. I don't think my heart could take it.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Is It Spring Yet?

I am not prepared for this weather. I just came from a place where it got not colder than the 60’s and now I have to put on gloves and a coat everywhere I go. A coat? Seriously? Everyday? And I actually wear sweaters now. I forgot how much I hate wearing a coat inside stores and nothing’s worse than a hot heavy sweater under a coat when you come in from the cold and go into a chop that’s toasty and you begin to bake. I was putting up with this cold, but then winter decided to push me and add freezing rain to the mix. I dealt with the snow, but the ice thing is a whole other thing. It makes everything dangerous and it knocked off my freakin’ power for like, six hours. And everyone knows you can only keep the food in your fridge safe for four hours.

Maybe I’d be less bitter if the boots I needed hadn’t sold out. Or if the power hadn’t gone out during Brooke and Julian’s wedding on “One Tree Hill.” By the way, didn’t you expect her dress to be cuter considering she’s a designer? And what’s with Julian’s bangs?

They say the groundhog didn’t see his shadow so spring will come, but I look outside and am not so sure. I guess I don’t need spring to hurry up, but I’d at least like to make it to my mailbox without dying. I’m a simple girl with simple needs.